My Faith: In the Beginning

I'm Catholic and proud to be so.

I wasn't raised Catholic; I wasn't raised in any Christian church though I was baptized Lutheran at four years old. I still remember it - all of the cousins were baptized at St. John's Lutheran church in Grand Haven, MI. I was little and to this day don't know exactly why that particular church was chosen. My grandmother's family was part of the Reformed church but my parents were married at St. John's, but why none of the others older than me had been baptized, I have no idea.

Grand Haven has more churches per square mile than most small communities and I tried a few in high school. The Baptist church in particular scared me because of how judgmental it was and how they believed only those who saw things exactly as they did were Heaven-bound. Another church was teaching its congregation not to fraternize with anyone who didn't attend its services because it was right, andanyone else would lead its members to Hell. Yes, I'm serious about that.

Pretty heavy stuff and certainly uncomfortable for me.  

Then at age twenty, a friend of mine began RCIA (Right of Christian Initiation for Adults) classes through the local (and only) Catholic church in Grand Haven. Because of the Dutch Protestant heritage, there was a hefty anti-Catholic sentiment in our town. Even my own mother once made a comment about brain-washing... then again, the only times she's stepped foot in any church in the last forty-plus years is for weddings and funerals.

He invited me to come to these classes and I said yes. I don't know why, other than curiosity to find out more about a church and faith that held such mystery to me. I'd never been much for organized religion of any kind (especially given the experiences above), and was bordering on agnosticism...

Anyway, I began attending informational classes and eventually attended Mass for the first time in November 2002. I sat off to the side of the congregation and didn't participate much, but something happened to me that I'd never experienced before: I felt comfortable. I felt at home. A light was lit inside me.

I attended every RCIA class and dove into my new-found faith with fervor. I read books, watched documentaries, attended Mass, befriended older members of the church to find out about their personal histories, and generally took to the Catholic faith like a fish to water.

The people of the church were friendly, the staff was helpful, and the priest - Father Bill Langlois, of whom I've written about many times - was & remains one of the most inspirational people in my life. Catholic or not, he treats everyone with respect and dignity, with open arms and welcomes them as friends. While he would have obvious disagreements with other Christian denominations (and faiths), he never condemns them or accuses their church leaders of leading them astray or toward eternal damnation. That is an example we should all aspire to.

(My best friend is an agnostic and we've had many positive discussions about church, faith, and what it takes to be a good person. I disagree with him but don't judge him)

I was confirmed into the Catholic Church on Easter, 2003. It stands as one of the few moments when my life was flooded with pure joy and I'll never forget the feeling of peace, of happiness, that filled my soul that night. Everyone I knew recognized the difference in me: I was filled with the Holy Spirit, even if that's not how they felt. And they were happy for me, including my Mom.

For many people, including a lot of Catholics themselves, reconciling the Church's bloody past (the Inquisitions, anyone?) and modern-day shame (abuse scandals) is hard. I actually joined the church at the height of that scandal and to this day, I'm certain the abusive priests and those who covered it up have a special place in Hell waiting for them. There's no defending those who hurt children.

But personally, I see it like this: the Church is imperfect and always will be because it is lead by Man. The faith - that Christ is my Savior and I will reach Heaven only through Him - is perfect. I don't agree with every decision or detail about the Church but its morals and mine are on the same wavelength. That isn't affected by any priest or Pope (though Pope Francis is certainly one of the better leaders our Church has seen in a long time).

Ashley Madison & Its Aftermath, Marriage, and America's Declining Commitment to Commitment

It's annoying when activist liberals who don't know what conservatism or Christianity are about point to the Duggar family (of 19 Kids & Counting infamy) and its cult-like existence as examples of what most of us Christian conservatives consider to be role models. When it came out that one of the show's stars was an admitted child molester, I watched in horror as members of his family attempted to downplay and justify his behavior, including the little sisters who he touched. When former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee went to bat for him, I immediately stopped following his various enterprises with a sense of extreme disappointment.

In the last week, that same family member is found to have had not one, but two accounts on Ashley Madison, a website whose sole purpose is to provide extramarital sexual affairs. Once again, his family has downplayed his despicable behavior and his wife even blames herself. As a logical, mostly decent person, I can't fathom how. Josh Duggar is a pervert, a pedophile, and a philanderer - it's who he is as a person and nothing she did made him that way, short of turning a blind eye to his atrocious behavior. Bogus public apologies aside, he'll have a lot to answer for when he comes before the God whose name he's abused so many times.

In a fact so overwhelming that it almost ceases to surprise, Duggar is just one of 34 million registered users  - that's more than four times the population of New York City. Is it possible that there are 34 million people living in unhappy marriages? I doubt it. Certainly the vast majority probably are, perhaps without even realizing it, but what it comes down to more than anything are a few key points:

• America's morals are at the lowest point they've been in for years. Lust and infidelity are glorified in all forms of media, becoming nearly unavoidable. The most popular TV shows and soulless pop music glorify a lifestyle of sleeping around, regardless of whether someone is married. 

• The kids who came of age in the 1980s have been called "The Me Generation," but the 21st Century has seen that claim laid to waste. Never before has there been such a proliferation of selfish behavior that demands instant gratification. More than ever, people want something and they want it now, damn it, no matter the consequence. 

• Marriage has been relegated into the category of "everyone should do it at least once." My grandparents' generation was the last to believe wholeheartedly in marriage being a lifelong commitment. Since the late 1970s, more than 50% of all marriages fail. Many with good reason: spousal abuse and infidelity have always been there, and many of the older generation stayed in loveless marriages when they shouldn't have. In this day and age, though, it's easy for someone to marry in the heat of passion and divorce the other months or even weeks later, with no worries to their reputation or sense of decency. 

The term "entitlement" gets tossed around a lot today, sometimes with good cause, sometimes not. But what else could it be that drove 34 million people to become liars, cheats, and lousy spouses? 'My wife doesn't understand me'... 'My husband works too many hours'... 'It's only sex, I still love her'... and whatever other excuses one makes to one's self to justify the sense that we should be able to be sexually satisfied no matter what the cost. It's human nature - we're entitled to happiness, right? Wrong. Not when it's at the expense of those we've made a vow to love, honor, and treasure 'til death do us part.

I've been blessed to be married for just over four years. My wife - a beautiful, intelligent, feisty, passionate, honest, hard-working, amazing woman - is there for me through thick and thin. She herself was the victim of bad things in her first marriage, and that makes me mad every time I think of it. But I also appreciate that she needs me to be there for her, too. It's not always easy; marriage takes work and commitment and you don't always get along or even like each other that much. But where there is love, there is hope for a marriage. 95% or more of our days are great together, making the blips on the radar worth it. She's my soul mate and I treasure her.

Sadly, until America wakes up from its moral slumber, and until the Sacrament of Marriage is taken more seriously, websites like Ashley Madison will always exist, sometimes even flourish. More and more people will get hurt by the selfish behavior of their husbands and wives. Society must wake up to the blessing we have in the form of lifelong commitment to the ones we love.