2017: As the year closes out...

Note: It's been over a year since I used this particular blog. I had the best of intentions but never really followed through. I thought now would be a good time to try & get back into practice with it.

2017. Holy cow.

The tumultuous year of 2017 really began in earnest in 2016 with the election of Donald Trump to be the next POTUS. It seemed like all hell broke loose in the media and across the country (the world, even). His Inauguration  on January 20, 2017 marked the end of an era, for sure, and I feel like we're still transitioning as a country eleven months later.

How has Trump done? It's hard to tell, honestly. With all media outlets except Fox News railing against him (and even then, some journalists there are increasingly critical), we never hear anything good about the man. He's obnoxious, boorish, and in my opinion, unqualified to be the leader of the Free World. He's plagued by scandal after scandal yet his ego remains planetary (in public, anyway)... but none of this is news. It began in 2015 when he announced his candidacy. 35% of Republican voters made him their candidate for the 2016 election and had there not been 15 others running, I don't think he'd have gotten the nomination, but that's all history.

I scoff, though, at Americans who say "not my President". He is, like it or not. Many of us didn't vote for Obama but I never used that phrase toward him. Trump likely doesn't represent your values, your vision for the country, or what you stand for, but he's still your President. In fact, given his constant contradictions in speeches, Twitter, and rallies, it's hard to know what he actually stands for other than himself. I don't believe he's going anywhere for the next three years so we as a nation will have to deal with that.

One (perhaps unintended) positive result of his Presidency has been that many people have found their voice both personally and politically. He's encouraged people on both sides of the political spectrum to stand up for their beliefs. Women are speaking up about abuse at the hands of monsters like Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer. A so-called Republican who allegedly molested teenage girls when he was in his 30s, and believes Muslims should not hold public office and that women are genetically inferior to men, was beaten in an election in Alabama (though he's still contesting it as of this writing)

Unfortunately it's been a double-edged sword. As an example, for every peaceful protester against the neo-Nazis in Charlottesville, there's another terrorist in the Antifa movement. Countering violence and hate with more violence and hate will not get us anywhere. But many people have no idea how to broach the subject properly. I use this simple meme to sum up this point:

   

Now that the obligatory political comments have been made, I have to say this year has had a few downs and some incredible highs in my personal life.

In May, I legally adopted my daughter. This actually began six months before when she asked me if I would... you talk about an honor! We took the entire day to celebrate with family at the courthouse and out for a late breakfast afterward. Most step-parents are good at the job and care deeply for their kids. Few, though, get to have their kids officially declared theirs, and fewer still by the kids' choice. My daughter is amazing, simply put, and the joy I felt was unparalleled.

In June we had the opportunity to stay with some of my wife's family in Petosky, MI, enjoying the wonder of Michigan's northern regions. We shared many laughs, the kids had a great time, and we got to have experiences we hadn't done yet. She got to see her dad and young siblings, which made the trip special.

Christmas was a few days ago and we were blessed to provide great gifts for our kids. It was the first time in several years I looked forward to the Holiday and it lived up to expectations.

Both kids, my son and daughter, are doing fantastic in school. He's at the top of his class in several subjects and she has rebounded from a tough year in Grade 7 and has shown what she's capable of in Grade 8. She's also talented musically, playing violin/fiddle and teaching herself piano. He's creative with writing and making his own mini-comic books. They're both witty, kind, smart, and overall good people. As a parent there's little more you can ask for.

Work at my main job was tough this year. At times humiliating and humbling, I've found a bit more purpose there in the last quarter of the year. I had the opportunity to work for about half the year at the local Home Depot, though, and took a lot of joy in that. I'd never really done customer service before and it was a good lesson in how to deal with the public. Most of the experiences were positive, my coworkers and store leadership were open and welcoming, and part of me wishes I'd stayed. Who knows, maybe in the future?

I'm still married! *lol* Married now six-and-a-half years and together for over eight, I'm still fortunate enough to be married to an exceptional woman who loves me for who I am. I treasure her now and always. Thank you, Darling.

There were a lot of good day-to-day happenings and one-off events that I need not bring up. I try to focus less on the macro and more on the micro nowadays, doing the best I can with my friends and family. I honestly think if more people focused on their family and friends, tried to raise their kids right, and did their best to be decent people, we'd be better off. That's not enough for the world, of course, but it would be a start.

So Happy New Year, everyone. Let's make 2018 the best year yet. Many of the shackles of 2017 don't need to weigh us down in the next twelve months. Despite the craziness out there, there are stories everyday of people helping one another, of people coming together in times of crisis. There's lots to hope for, plenty to be thankful for, and maybe we'll each get the chance to do that ourselves in 2018.

America the Exceptional, Part Two

On what was the first full family vacation my wife, kids and I have actually taken (aside from day trips or overnight to Chicago or Detroit), we had the opportunity to visit several historic sites not far from her family's home in Maryland. I spoke of Washington, D.C. in a previous post.

The massive size of the Gettysburg battle fields cannot be accurately described in words or even photos. Only Ken Burns' 1990 masterful documentary The Civil War does it justice. It's a place we learn about from the time we're in elementary school, its importance in the Civil War and place in American history stressed to us.

We lunched at  Sweney's Tavern, part of the Farnsworth Inn, one of the most haunted places in town. My daughter, her aunt, and her grandpa could swear they felt some supernatural juju happening! While I didn't feel it, I enjoyed the atmosphere, complete with costumes from the film Gettysburg adorning the walls, as well as the fish & chips I had for lunch.

What I didn't care for was the narrow selection of tourist-trap stores along the main drag. Once we'd seen a couple, we'd seen them all, but some of the ladies in our group wanted to hit each one before we got to the battlefield. C'est la vie, eh?

The first spot on the fields we finally made it to was the Eisenhower farm area with its massive observation deck along Confederate Avenue. One can get an almost complete panoramic view of the area from its top. From there the battlefields take shape in the viewer's eye.

 

We didn't get out of the vehicle frequently due to cold and winds, but we arrived at Little Round Top, one of the most famous spots on the battlefield and where some of the heaviest casualties of the war were suffered. I felt the weight of history on me when I ran my hands over the names of the dead inscribed upon monument walls.

From there we proceeded to Devil's Den, appropriately named given the savagery of the Gettysburg battles. We climbed on the rocks and snapped a few photos, and it hit me how terrified the Confederate soldiers must've been, rushing from there to Little Round Top for slaughter. Just because they fought for the South doesn't mean we cannot mourn their loss. They were still Americans, after all.

The final spot before heading home was the cemetery to see the spot where President Lincoln gave his historic address. There were several busloads of tourists there and I'll admit it took away from the visit for me. The family enjoyed it, though, and the kids can say they've been there. I myself would love to go back on a quiet afternoon and be able to take in the aura, so maybe next time.

Our great nation is full of historical spots, many of them within a day's drive. Gettysburg is something anyone in the Midwest or East Coast should see if you get a chance. It remains a stoic reminder of the division we once faced and of the bravery of untold men and women to fight and die for their beliefs.

A Life Well Lived

My Grandma died on October 21, 2015.

She was 90, so it's not as if she was denied a long life; she had Alzheimer's, so the mind of a fiercely intelligent woman was all but gone, as were most of her physical abilities. She passed with family and friends by her side, so she thankfully didn't die alone.

A simple, beautiful memorial service was held last week at a small Mennonite church in Toronto. It was a comfort to see the room overflowing with people who came to pay their last respects, to honor the life of a woman who'd done so much for them. Growing up 400 miles away in a different country, I never had the opportunity to get to know my Grandma's day-to-day routines, but I always knew what a special lady she was. I just had no clue how many others felt the same way.

Agnes Mary Stewart Ford was the second of nine children and when her older brother George died in WWII, that left her as the eldest. She was one of those rare people who nearly everyone who met her liked her, and her soft-spoken nature would become a pillar of strength and respect in her large extended family.

She loved God & her family fiercely. She and my Grandpa, Fred Billedeau, were deeply involved in the church, and after he died (young, at 66 in 1993), she not only remained active, but assumed some of his duties as well. No one could quite figure out how she did it, and at times the physical strain showed, but she remained an active member of the community until forced into hospitalization, then a nursing home, in her late 80s.

Agnes was a loving Grandma; she always had words of love and encouragement, and showed an interest in what her grandchildren were up to (that, at least, is my experience). I looked forward to holiday and birthday cards, as most who knew her did, because each was picked after careful consideration for its recipient and filled with a personal, hand-written message.

She was slow to anger and rarely lost her temper and even in bad situations, by all accounts, never raised her voice (a trait I sadly did not inherit). Respect for others came naturally to her and she, in turn, earned the respect of all who knew her. Following the example set decades before by her own parents, if someone was in need, she would help in any way possible.

90 years of living cannot possibly be summed up in one short essay, so let me say this: I did not write this in mourning or looking for sympathy, but as a tribute and a meditation on how we live our lives by using her as a shining example of goodness. And that's exactly what my grandmother was: Good. As a sister, daughter, wife, mother,grandmother, aunt, friend, member of her community and the world at large, she was a good person. She's one of the few people I've met who I am certain made it directly to Heaven to be reunited with family and friends gone before her.

At the end of our own lifetimes, we should all hope to be remembered the same way.